hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
