you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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