Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
the raccoons are back...
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