guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
