he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
