After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
jump out the window naked night went bad
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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