just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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