i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
