I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
