I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
