You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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