I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
