Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
