worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
