hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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