he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I didn't notice because vodka
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
