we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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