she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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