how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize