The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
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