I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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