Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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