Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
