Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
last night I used snow as a chaser
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
