Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
