I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm sobbing to NWA
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
