And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
