3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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