your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
