I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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