"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Randomize
