It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
