I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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