someone get that fucking seahorse.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize