two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
