When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
