is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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