His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
