New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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