What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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