things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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