So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
