Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
