We're facebook friends in real life
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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