is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
