You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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