i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
