if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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