I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
