If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
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My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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