I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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