i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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