margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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