do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
