i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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