sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
