Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
