Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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