turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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