I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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