No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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