STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
